Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

My grandmother deeded me her house before she passed last year. Her son still lives there refusing to move. What steps should I take to have him removed?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do the majority of feminists hate men (not all feminists)?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I actually pay taxes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why do I feel sleepy after massage?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Can a dental anesthesia injection cause nerve damage? After receiving an injection in my gums I felt a sharp tingle going from the gum to my lower lip, and now sometimes I get a bit of itchiness and discomfort in my lower lip. What is it?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is your favourite true story to tell at a party?

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars